Drifted Snow

Sophie Calle, Exquisite Pain

I took this book out of the library after the seminar on Friday, and I fell in love with it!
It is really and truly more appealing in book form than it is in a gallery space.

I personally liked it a lot, because I have a pretty relavent emotional connection to the theme right now.
Yes, sadly, my boyfriend of a year and a half left me about 7 days ago.
I was a completly devastated, crying every 5min, wondering why he stopped caring about me.
But I feel a lot better this week and more confident!
It will take me a while to get back to being completly happy,
and to just break the addiction of being in a relationship,
but life goes on!
The book put me in a better mood, to tell you the truth.
After reading about other peoples pain, my own personal life doesn't seem as bad.

The book also got me thinking about the theme of denial,
and why people tend to stay there, instead of just facing their misery head on.
Like myself, for example, I just keep telling myself that he will call me
in a week or so, and be completely sorry, and beg for my forgiveness.
So much so that I actually believe its going to happen, and It actually helps
me get through the day better. Why do people live with the bullshit, just to avid
something that will probably help them in the long run? I know for a fact that i am better off without
him, however, the thought of loosing him completely is too unbearable and heartbreaking, that
I am straying towards complete blissful denial. There is also a theme of power/ego involved with denial.
People feel like if they avoid feeling pain, even if it is needed or apparent, they will feel like
they have more controll over their lives, or the others in it. Again, using myself as an example,
if I make him wait/miss me, he will only come back sooner, and therefore, i have the pper hand in the relationship.
I think humans like to dominate others a bit too much.

I think Sophie Calle's boyfriend knew the power he had over her,
('he chose the place of my misery, and was too coward enough to come himself').
And he liked that. He liked knowing that she would be miserable for several months,
and he fucked her over to pleasure himself/feel more important in the world.
"you are nobody until somebody loves you"
I HATE that saying, but I guess it's true.

I think feelings like this, like denial, and emotional opression,
relates to the theme of my project very well. People are afraid of growing up,
people are afraid of commitment, people are afraid of giving themselves to others,
and people only want someone else to love them.
the whole world is looking for love, the whole worls is looking for something to
call their own, and I cant help but feel like we are failing miserably.

Sorry to get all Carrie Bradshaw on you guys.
"I couldnt help but wonder.... are we all just fucked?"

xoxoxo

lala

VOGUE SPREAD, December 2005

After the critique earlier today, I looked up some of the Designers that Chantal Recomended.
Here are the links to look at:

Tibor Kalman
Herb Lubalin
Neville Brody

I reallly like Kalman's Political views, and how he aimed to bring worldy issues into common everyday advertising.


I have decided to change the layout of my magizine completely,
and do something more intricate and less plain.

I originally wanted each issue to have the same exact layout and feel,
but I decided to make each issue's layout more relavant to its topic.

for "goodbye never never land" I am thinking of designing it like a
childrens book, with bright/bold font's and colors, although I want
to give it a vintage looking feel. I think it will fit well
with the idea I am comming to (growing older vs. child's mentality).

Actress Keira Knightley did a spread for vouge last year,
which i was flipping through last night. They had her model
as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, and it was enchanting and beautiful.
I remember being obsessed with it, when it came out, and I am glad I
stumbled upon it again last night.
That is the major look that I am going for!

VOGUE

PS: If anyone needs an issue of vogue for whatever reason, let me know,
I have every issue from at least the past 2 years...

xoxoxo

I've been thinking a lot since my presentation on Wednesday, and I like the idea that the low resolution images are the artifacts of networking through the internet. I like the idea of the magizine being neat and beautiful, and the low quality images contrasting its design.

Something I didn't mention earlier in the week that still fascinates me:

Why do younger artists feel more comfortable showing their work on the internet with strangers as opposed to their family and in real life friends?

We all remember being in high school/jr. high... It's socially awkward in this country (and I am assuming in other countries, but will research later) to 'stand out' and 'be different'. I was always a little embarassed being 'the artist' in my high school. I never wanted to feel like I was bragging about my talent, however, because it was my major concentration, it was hard to avoid being noticed so much. I think a lot of it has to do with teenagers self confidence- in themselves and their capabilities, their fear of being sterotyoped, talked about, and wanting to blend in (or stand out in that 'i'm a blond cheerleader who kisses all the boys in gym class' type way) hehe.

Anyways, I think younger artists thrive on the fascination that they can communicate with like minded individuals late at night on their laptops in the privacy of their own bedrooms. It just feels so much safer and actually more personal, regardless of the intangibility of the internet. I remember networking with other artists when I was in my early teens, and I felt like I could say/do/be anything I wanted, because no one really knew me anyways. I think a lot of teenagers fear reality more than anything. It's just sad how they eventually get accepted into art school, are forced to express all of their deeper ideas in front of everyone else, get embarassed, feel less talented than they once did/etc. Ironic, actually, but reality consumed all of us.

So I am going to reaserch teenage/high school life in other countries, using film. If anyone knows any foreign films that deals with a younger person in high school, please let me know!

links:

jr__nal
(a great site for networking)

Photobucket
(one of my millions of photobucket accounts)